When Children are better off fatherless…

An assistant professor at Northwestern University wrote the article “When Children are Better off Fatherless”.  She starts off by saying…


“The 24 million American sons and daughters growing up without fathers are not all doomed.”

“Our society must not assume that these sons and daughters are damned.”


This is a true reality.  Growing up with a father doesn’t automatically make you a good person.  Growing up without a father doesn’t make you a bad person.  The Bible on this issue deals with “best practice”.  A mother and a father is the ideal situation for children.  Of course, however, we know that God can do anything with any circumstance.


The article then goes on to say…

“The government itself sends the message that children are better off with a father.  The reality is, many children are better off without their fathers.”

She then quotes a Cambridge psychologist, “We think it is misguided to see increased paternal involvement as a universally desirable goal.”


She grudgingly admits, “Certainly it is optimal to have two parents who love and nurture their children…”  but then slams the door shut in the same breath “…but rather than insist that all men can be good fathers, we should fill the lives of children with love and support from untraditional directions.”

What are “untraditional directions”?  Further more, all men can be good fathers, isn’t there potential for that?

She then makes it personal and explains, “The myth is personal to my family, because I raised my sons as a single mother.”


I do not believe that many people can subscribe to her point of view, but the problem is that this philosophy finds its way into our culture and thinking.

If we deny the importance and necessity of fathers, do we not hinder those sons from their own destinies of fatherhood?  Yes, we as men do have our own very serious issues, and we must strive to be the “Genesis Men” that we were intended to be, but let us not limit the potential and power of change.  As the saying goes, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”

This Sunday at Erie Street Gospel Centre will be our Men’s service and I hope to do an exploration of fatherhood  through the life of Noah.

I hope you can join us!


“All men watch porn and it is not bad for them”

“All men watch porn, and it is not bad for them”

This is the name of the article written by a Montreal university professor based on his two year research study.

I’m not even sure where to begin…  The only remotely positive thing I can see this article doing is perhaps attempting to reduce authentic guilt some men may have with this addiction, and that’s hardly positive at all.

Assuming that he interviewed mostly university students, the short article paints many “matter- of- fact” arguments as facts… (and I quote)

“…his research had refuted views that pornography enthusiasts seek out in life what they see in X-rated videos, leading to sexual abuse or denigration of women.

“It would be like saying that vodka ads lead to alcoholism,” the sociologist said.

The author further “…dismissed suggestions that avid pornography enthusiasts seek to imitate in life what they see on screens, or that they watch X-rated videos in an attempt to purge vile sexual impulses.

“Both arguments are worthless,” he said.   Men make a distinction between their real lives and sexual fantasies…”


This is what passes as a internet “hit” on Men’s Health.

There is a “Focus on the Family” article that takes another view on this topic and points out the dangers of this addiction.

“Not everyone who sees porn will become addicted to it. Some will just come away with toxic ideas about women, sex, marriage and children. That kind of damage is bad enough. And porn isn’t the only ingredient in addiction. Usually, those who become addicted have some kind of emotional opening that allows the addiction to really take root.”

Also interesting, as this short article continues, is the “Five Stages of Addiction” – early exposure, addiction, escalation, desensitization and acting out sexually.


Read both the articles.  Read what the Bible says.


We shirk our moral responsibility and family responsibility when we start an affair with pornography.  I told my son that pornography is like a handcuff.  I believe this.

All men don’t watch porn, and it’s not good for them.